just so you know.

recently, i've been getting loads of stick for being good-looking. look, its not my fault i've been born so damn good looking ok? i didn't ask for it but i am sure as hell that i deserve it more than anyone i can think of. you think maintaining my umbeliably good looks is easy? fuck no. it requires strict discipline and bucket loads of commitment. i have to trim my eyebrows, wax my legs, use make up and exercise. my chiselled features may have been naturally endowed (thank you jesus) but my unbelievably good body is hard to come by. it ain't easy, make no mistake about it, but i'm not complaining. being super handsome is something i've been doing all my life and i've got to say i'm so damn good at it.

people think i'm some ass-kissing, spankin' bitch. ha. that's just a facade ladies. you think i actually enjoy grovelling at you lot? doing all your shit for you? pretending to be a listening ear when i really really can't give less of a fuck? biggest bullshit ever. i just wanna get in your pants. and with my front and incredibly good looks its been easy. chicks have been falling for me all over the place. i'm getting mobbed. they're all over. i've tried using a stick to beat them away with a stick but they sure are relentless. like a whole fucking school of howler monkeys (which are reknowned in nature for their relentlessness, trust me) i've tried sending a decoy in to distract them but no one can capture my good lookingness. no one comes close (eat that, ken) ladies, take a number please. if i have the time, i'll do all of you. ok. not all of you. just the hot ones. why just the other day in school, this whole horde of j1 chicks were eye fucking me. can't blame em. i get that shit alot but ladies, a little discretion please.